If you cross a saber toothed tiger with Bambi, you get the water deer, aka the vampire deer.

The vampire deer comes in two flavors: Chinese and Korean. 

Evil Bambi prefers low grasslands but is also seen on mountains, swamps and even open cultivated fields. Vampire deer can swim several miles to reach remote river islands.

Oh, and did I mention the male vampire deer happen to have huge 4 inch retractable fangs? WTF? What are deer doing with fangs? Do these guys eat meat? Nope, they are strict herbivores, except for ripping an occasional chunk from another male deer’s ass.

Water bucks (males) are highly territorial. When a rival crosses boundaries established by the incumbent’s scent marking, they each thrust out a set of menacing fangs. (Note: their canines are controlled by facial muscles and can be contracted and extended at will.) If posturing doesn’t suffice, males will tear and gouge at each other until a victor is determined.

Needless to say, all this macho activity is all about the women. But you already knew that because humans exhibit the same behavior.