All Mail Carriers:

As you know, since 1923 the United States Postal Service has dictated strict manufacturing specifications of all curbside mail receptacles to insure rapid delivery. The overall effect of our efforts has been favorable. Our standards have resulted in limitations on product diversity and design.

However, I’ve randomly driven your routes nationwide and have documented the following examples of deviant mailbox art. This trend is unacceptable and is considered vandalism to federal property.

Next time you witness such flagrant violations of our guidelines, you have my express permission to go postal on the offenders.

Postmaster General