You’ve heard by now, unless ironically you’re a stoner, Washington and Colorado have legalized pot. 

No surprise the Feds are already expressing their disapproval. CNN.com told closet tokers in these two states not to yet break out their Cheetos. Why? The DEA issued this warning “…enforcement of the Controlled Substances Act remains unchanged. In enacting the Controlled Substances Act, Congress determined that marijuana is a Schedule I controlled substance.”

What does that mumbo jumbo even mean? The Feds need to dumb down their rhetoric so future pothead constituents can grasp their messages.

I, like the DEA, have my doubts this cultural experiment will work. Too many questions remain unanswered. Here are a few top-of-mind:

1. Can restaurant patrons smoke a joint if they’re in smoking section?

2. Will gangs be required to report drug-related murder statistics to the Census Bureau? Or record assets gained during turf take-overs to the IRS?

3. Are we going to surround Colorado with fences, checkpoints and drug dogs like we do Mexico?

4. Can Mexico’s economy survive the economic impact of losing so many customers?

5. Will Mexican smugglers start pushing bootleg happy meal prizes through their established distribution channels to remain profitable?

6. Is the Canadian military going to shoot old hippies getting too close to their border with Washington?

7. Can parents finally share their favorite bong stories with their children?

8. Can you ski when you’re stoned?


9. Will anybody remember pot was legalized?

10. Will smoking still be fun after its legal?