Imagine your significant other told you s/he just booked a romantic weekend getaway at the Das Park Hotel. 

Such an elegant sounding name might evoke mental images like this:

Unfortunately, your beau didn’t pick the Park Plaza in New York but the Das Park Hotel in Ottensheim, Austria. Austria? Your mind races to conjure up romantic hotel settings in Austria. Perhaps, like this:

Before you go too far into your Sound of Music fantasy, please understand that Das Park Hotel doesn’t have grand ballrooms, or a pool, or even bathrooms. This finer establishment is, in reality, three large sections of concrete sewer pipe refurbished into suites.

According to this hotel’s website, its suites are “surprisingly comfortable” and “feature a full head height interior, double bed, light, power, blanket and light cotton sleeping bag. All other facilities are provided locally…” In other words, you’ll be using the crapper at the gas station down the street.
To further distract you from remembering you’re literally up shit creek by choice, it’s site states “You sleep on a double wide Eurofoam mattress supported by an ergonomic slatted frame by Optimo. In the storage right next to the bed you will find fresh pillows, blankets and sheets – plenty for even the coolest summer nights.”

It sounds like the Ottensheim city government is trying to bankroll an unfinished public works project under the guise of the recycled Green movement. How far will tree huggers go before they realize they’re being duped?

Das Park Hotel is currently working out a bed and breakfast package deal with the owner of some dumpsters down the street.