In a previous blog we introduced you to the American Redneck. We surveyed their history, values and innovation. Here, we discuss their noble attempts to protect home and family.

The Redneck’s propensity to accumulate lots of…stuff, most of which lies in their front yard, presents this demographic with a heightened demand for home security.

Most of us in this situation would get our home wired with alarms, then document the investment with a neighborhood-friendly yard sign stating “This home is protected by…”

The American Redneck, as usual, has his own ideas regarding home security. First, the intruder is duly warned off the property by a menacing sign clearly demonstrating intent to kill through some combination of dog/gun images and phonetically spelled words.

If the intruder does not heed the warning of clear and present danger, he will be considered quarry and subject to the protective instincts and ducttape ingenuity of the American Redneck (especially, if it is not deer season.)