Some Texas towns may run out of water by Christmas. Say again? Entire towns without water? Yes, and we’re not talking reduced lawn watering time, we’re talking dust coming out of your faucet .

Question: What happens to my house without water?
Answer: This:

Question: What does my family do without water?
Answer: Load up the truck and move to Californie:

Question: How did it come to this?
Answer: If you live in Texas and didn’t see this coming, don’t worry because you probably won’t notice anything different after it happens. You’ll just be really thirsty and smelly for a really long time. If you missed the beginnings of Dust Bowl II (not a movie or a football game) because you’re a tad ADD,this time lapse recounting of events may help get you up to speed:
2011: Sucky Year for the Lone Star state
  • Hottest summer for any state since 1895. 
  • Most severe one-year drought on record. 
  • 18,612 fires have burned 3.5 million acres. This area is bigger than most New England states. 
  • 95% of the state is either in extreme or exceptional drought level, according to the Drought Monitor. 
  • 94% of hay producing land is scorched. Nearly all hay is now imported. Growing numbers of Texas ranchers are selling their cattle herds to other states. 
  • 92% of corn crop is in critically poor condition. 
  • Wildfire related losses are estimated at $5 billion. 
  • Lost most of cotton crops, estimated at $2 billion. 
  • The Trinity Aquifer, outside of Dallas, has dropped 80 feet. 
  • Lake Travis, outside of Austin, is 30 feet below average levels.
Closing thought, friends: If you have obnoxious relatives from Texas and you have an extra bedroom, downsize before Christmas…